Several years ago I actually thought I had discovered, all on my own, that I had become invisible. At first I thought it was simply that I had moved across country and didn’t know anyone here yet, other than my family. To be honest I welcomed the anonymity that allowed me to go to the grocery store without having to put on makeup—what did it matter? No one knew me. No one would judge me.
And then I realized that no one actually saw me. My entire being had become socially beige. Even my shape has become beige. I mentioned this to my similarly aged sister, who nodded and said, “Yep. You’re invisible now.” It sounds horrible, doesn’t it? But after Googling a bit, I learned we old dames eventually experience “invisible woman syndrome.” Has to do with no longer being gorgeous or sexy, blah blah blah.
It should bother me, I suppose. But I’m kind of into it. It’s my new superpower.
I went for dinner with my above-mentioned sister to a lovely, darkish Thai restaurant in Palm Springs recently. We sat across from each other, she in a chair and me on one of those benches that are built completely across the wall. Other people sat on the same bench, their tables next to ours. After a terrific meal, I scooted across the bench to get past our table and stand up. But I didn’t stand up. In the dark restaurant I had been mistaken about the wall-length bench. The benches were short, only as wide as each table. So when I scooted to my right, I scooted into midair. And then I crashed onto my derriere in a sudden and (I choose to think) elegant splat.
The shock wore off quickly, and I laughed at my error, but my sister’s shock trailed mine by about two seconds. She gasped and attempted to jump to my aid, but she miscalculated the table’s width—I’m telling you, that was one dark restaurant—and her beige hip smashed into our table enough to upend a couple of its taller items. Mamma didn’t send her girls to charm school, clearly.
But not a single person in that restaurant reacted to our performance. No concern. No tittering. No one’s time stood still, not for one second. Life carried on as if we weren’t there.
So, see? It ain’t all that bad being invisible.
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